We were watching the Bachelorette on Monday night when one of the guys mentioned breaking 'man code'. I asked Zac to tell me some 'man code' and he only knew two rules. But then Alyssa wanted to know about whether bikinis or skimpy clothing was really a temptation to guys. (According to Zac, this depends on the girl.)
I sat in my chair, listening to this conversation, and it made me smile. Why? Because my kids feel comfortable enough with me and their siblings to talk about whatever comes to mind. There are no off-limits topics or ones that are met with condescending looks or immediate reproof. That is not to say that we are accepting of all things or inappropriate in our speech. My kids just feel okay bringing up any topic. I give them my opinion and guidance when needed, but for the most part we just enjoy being together.
I think we accomplished this in our family by what we did when the kids were younger. When we were in the 'preschool' phase, we were consistent in our discipline--the rules stayed the same every day of the week. The result is that now we very rarely have to discipline our kids other than an occasional attitude check or chore reminder. Instead of griping or nagging them all the time, we can just enjoy each other's company and 'hang out'.
We definitely haven't done everything right with our kids and definitely have some regrets about things I wish I had done better, but this one thing we got right. A lot of parents I know don't enjoy being around their kids. I'm glad we've transitioned from being the rule-makers to developing the friendships with our kids that will last the rest of our lives.
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