Another licensed driver in my house, Yippee??

I just watched Alyssa pull out of my driveway, driving herself to church tonight for the first time ever. I thought I would be so happy when this day came. Finally, someone else to help with all the taxi driving and since Alyssa is the cause of most of my mom-taxi trips anyway, I thought I would enjoy this new surplus of free time with which I would fold the laundry faster and clean the toilets more often. And I'm sure that relief will come eventually, but for now there's a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach brought on by the thought of my child being in command of a moving vehicle that is not a bicycle. And wondering how long she'll make it before she has an accident because all young drivers do eventually. Then praying that whenever it does happen, it'll only be minor.

I think I just wasn't ready for it to happen today even though we're 5 months past when she could have taken the test. In our 'wisdom' gained from talking to Alyssa's friends who all had to take the test twice, we were expecting her to get failed today for some silly mistake and to have to try again next week. So when she pulled back into the parking lot and said, "I passed!" I was so proud of her for doing what her friends couldn't, but caught off guard that this was really happening at the same time.

Thank goodness for cell phones. She has to text when she arrives and when she leaves which brings some peace of mind. Some...not a lot. I don't know how my mother did it without knowing for sure that I had arrived at my designated location. I think in a few weeks I'll be happy. Maybe if Kevin was here to share my angst it would help. He actually doesn't even know she has her license since he's still in the remote villages of Mexico and is being spared all this parental drama. I'll have to remind to him to thank me later for living through this rite of passage alone.

Man Code Education

We were watching the Bachelorette on Monday night when one of the guys mentioned breaking 'man code'. I asked Zac to tell me some 'man code' and he only knew two rules. But then Alyssa wanted to know about whether bikinis or skimpy clothing was really a temptation to guys. (According to Zac, this depends on the girl.)

I sat in my chair, listening to this conversation, and it made me smile. Why? Because my kids feel comfortable enough with me and their siblings to talk about whatever comes to mind. There are no off-limits topics or ones that are met with condescending looks or immediate reproof. That is not to say that we are accepting of all things or inappropriate in our speech. My kids just feel okay bringing up any topic. I give them my opinion and guidance when needed, but for the most part we just enjoy being together.

I think we accomplished this in our family by what we did when the kids were younger. When we were in the 'preschool' phase, we were consistent in our discipline--the rules stayed the same every day of the week. The result is that now we very rarely have to discipline our kids other than an occasional attitude check or chore reminder. Instead of griping or nagging them all the time, we can just enjoy each other's company and 'hang out'.

We definitely haven't done everything right with our kids and definitely have some regrets about things I wish I had done better, but this one thing we got right. A lot of parents I know don't enjoy being around their kids. I'm glad we've transitioned from being the rule-makers to developing the friendships with our kids that will last the rest of our lives.