Dear Gustav

I do not like you. You are a mean hurricane. You are wreaking havoc on my life today even though I don't live any where near the coast. My dog is scared of you and has not peed all day. I'm afraid she is going to feel the need to take care of business in my new house on the new carpet, or worse, on my expensive wool rug. Thanks to you and the people here who do not know how to drive in the rain, I suffered 10 mini heart attacks and near collisions while driving to the dance studio and back. (Is it really that difficult to turn your headlights on and not slam on your brakes?)

I'm wondering though if it's not you're fault. Maybe they shouldn't have named you Gustav which brings to mind images of German soldiers like this guy.

Maybe if they had named you 'Gus' after one of my favorite Disney characters you wouldn't blow the rain sideways so that no umbrella would serve a purpose or confuse the sensors on my garage door so that it won't close which leaves me standing in the rain, trying to make it work so that I can take my children to church.

If I give you some of these guys to play with, would you please go away and bother someone else for awhile? Because I don't live close to the ocean, I really shouldn't have to deal with you.